Saturday, September 30, 2006

Sample Saturday

Man is the head of the woman. Only man is the image and glory of God.

Bella Williams folded and unfolded the already worn note, until she caught herself and forced her fingers still. She’d hastily palmed the cheap white paper note when she’d spied it in her bridesmaid bouquet. After reading it once, the biblical words wouldn’t leave her mind. They echoed shaking loose new fears with every repetition.

It was the second such note she’d found in a week. The first one had been left on her windshield while she was at work in the shop.

She chided herself for getting jumpy over a quote from Corinthians.

The notes qualified as strange – but threatening? Threatening was a stretch. She tried to dismiss them as nothing more than a bazaar form of proselytizing. She was getting paranoid and silly – spooked by printed words. Sticks, stones, and all that jazz. She chided herself for being such a coward.

She sucked in her stomach tightening the muscles the way Nana taught her for better posture concentrating on the wedding ceremony.

From where she stood on Merci’s left, the glass wall acted as a frame for the woods behind the church. The majesty of the forest, backlit by summer twilight, added nature’s approval to the holy union of man and wife.

Reverend Tom’s red hair clashed horribly with the burgundy robe he wore over his cassock. But his voice was strong, as if given extra power by the beauty of the words he intoned.

“The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God . . .”

After the couple had declared their readiness to exchange vows, Bella stepped forward taking custody of the bridal bouquet.

Rod turned to Merci lifting the sheer veil to reveal shining eyes and trembling lips. He took Merci’s hand pledging his heartfelt vows. Looking directly into her eyes and speaking only to her. “My honor, my heart, my body, my soul, is yours . . .”

Every man and woman in the congregation sat at attention.

Chills skittered along Bella’s arms.

Merci’s face was so radiant – Bella’s worries crept into the recesses of her mind. As the tender vows continued, a bittersweet yearning grew in her heart.

She didn’t want to ruin the professional makeup Merci had insisted on. She blinked fast to keep tears from spilling. As the-maid-of-honor, it was her job to keep it together. She would not spoil this moment for her best friend.

Her attention riveted on the newlyweds. Rod leaned closer in slow motion, pressing Merci’s mouth with his. From where Bella stood, the kiss felt respectful, loving and certain. She sighed.

Merci’s perfect white satin dress, the perfect church and, of course, the perfect groom were wonderful and exactly as Merci deserved. Poignant feelings Bella didn’t want to examine brimmed making her blink away more tears.

To regain her composure, she scanned the church for a distraction. She homed in on Derrick Jameson. He was an easy target. Taller than everyone present, he naturally drew her eye. But it was more than his height that held her attention. He embodied the lure of the forbidden with way more than his rightful share of masculine appeal.

His gaze locked with hers. His smoldered with sexual energy.

A traitorous corner of her heart wished she were the kind of woman who would enchant him. After too long, she looked away from those dark eyes.

Bella was too sensible to flirt with a known player, or so she told herself. He must have a mile long trail of discarded women, or so she told herself. He was a distraction from the emotional moment threatening to overwhelm her, or so she told herself.

She dared another glance. His eyes issued a challenge searing every nerve from her head clear down to her toes. She tensed. She knew his kind. A predator. She didn’t blame him for the blatant invitation he couldn’t help his natural instincts.

A lust devil must have possessed her. She’d been flirting. She looked right for the part he was casting. She’d inherited her mother’s striking coloring and voluptuous figure. Normally she dressed carefully to counteract the false impression of sensuality. Tonight she wore the bride’s fashion choices. Tonight a wild reckless possessed her. Tonight she courted danger.

Maybe it was the dress. Merci had chosen a dress of pure simplicity. A little nothing slip of peach silk that clung to every curve with a soft draping neckline that gave a man hope. If seduction were the goal, it would’ve been perfect. Underneath it all, a barely there bra and matching thong made her ample shape appear better than reality.

The clothes weren’t the problem. The lust devil, who’d possessed her wasn’t the problem. The warm fizzles spreading through her body – those were the problem.

Bella pictured Derrick undoing her lingerie, his big hands sure and skillful, knowing just where to touch to give pleasure. Heat streaked up from her breasts singeing her cheeks. Perspiration dampened her neck. Bella stared at her flowers to avoid staring at Derrick. He wasn’t even handsome. Attractive, very attractive, in a hard-edged way. He wore wicked masculine appeal like a signature scent. He was compelling, if a woman went in for tall dark and dangerous.
She didn’t. Shouldn’t – not if she had half the sense God gave her.

Derrick had said nothing to her than “How do you do” and “Pleased to meet you” and even then, he had sounded completely bored. Here she was creating a whole seduction fantasy around a hot look. All right, a couple of hot looks. But they meant nothing. For all she knew he was near sighted.

He deserved to star in some woman’s fantasy, but not hers. She wasn’t a fantasy kind of girl, or so she’d thought. She never pictured men naked. The ease with which she imagined him naked shook everything she’d believed about herself.

A new worry, that she’d inherited more from her mother than coloring, tightened the corners of her mouth. Maybe she shared her mother’s weakness for men. Fresh licks of fire turned up the heat on her face, neck and breasts.

Derrick watched Bella’s cheeks get redder and raised a brow in silent speculation. What was she thinking? Could she read his mind? Not likely. If she knew his thoughts, she’d be running as fast as those endless legs could carry her.

He was famous for his unreadable face. He was confident none of the erotic images he hadn’t been able to stop from playing in his mind reflected on his features. Doubt prickled, maybe something had leaked. Derrick consciously relaxed his face – irritated at the break in his natural defenses. He’d never had this strong a reaction to a woman. He brought his analytical mind to bear on the problem.

She was pretty, in a doll like way with gold curls escaping from a topknot. Her eyes were an unusual golden brown – whisky eyes. Nice skin, creamy, a great foil for a pretty blush. A killer body, too round to be in style. Lush breasts and curvy hips were exactly what he liked best. Scent was a powerful aphrodisiac and there was no denying she smelled good – a clean fragrance with a hint of something floral. A nice package, beyond nice, spectacular.

None of her attributes explained the strength of his response. He’d dated some amazingly beautiful women. Not one of them had the same impact as Bella with the sweet face and dangerous curves.

Instinctively he knew there was more in play than her appearance. She had an electric undercurrent. A whispered promise of molten pleasure only she embodied. He’d felt it when they’d shook hands and a disproportionate power surge hit nearly sending sent him to his knees.
He felt it now, a primal urge to paw the ground, pound his chest and roar his desire. At the same time, everything thing he knew about staying in control was threatened by each breath she took. To become involved with her would be professional and personal suicide.

Plainly, his reaction to Bella was nothing more than an inconvenient response to his self-imposed celibacy. Completely understandable – he hadn’t been with a woman in months.

Nora Turner and he had been heading for a break up before she left for Europe. Nora was spoiled. Her sleek beauty ruined by arrogance. She was an imaginative and energetic lover. But no amount of originality made up for her mean streak or her drama productions. Breaking up was a choice he was no longer sure he could afford. In theory, the trip gave them both time to reconsider before the official announcement of their engagement.

He wished.

Derrick resented her. Resented her assumption he was hers to command. Resented her even more for being right.

No matter how hard he tried to sell himself on marriage to Nora, it was still a business deal – plain, simple and ugly. With each fresh disaster he uncovered at Jameson Enterprises, the option of saying no to Nora shrank.

He swallowed hard. Pride didn’t go down easy.

Financial security for his family rested in Nora’s pale hands, a powerful inducement he couldn’t afford to ignore. His side of the bargain wasn’t as obvious. He knew part of his appeal lay in the unknown. If he made things too simple, she’d grow bored and discard him. She wanted a challenge – the thrill of taming the wild male.

His gut tightened protecting his core from threat. Games weren’t his thing. With his family’s future hanging in the balance, playing was close to intolerable. Getting out of the box he was in would take monstrous luck and iron balls.

If it were just him, he’d tear off the dog collar Nora wanted him to wear in a flat second.

It wasn’t about him.

The reminder of what was at stake grounded him.

Rod caught his attention and waved him closer for the wedding party photos.

Derrick smiled for the camera.A woman’s laugh teased his ears and lightened his heart. His eyes sought the source of the happy sound and found Bella’s enticing lips curving into an alluring smile. His smile grew reckless to match hers. The rest of the wedding photographs clicked by painlessly. Minutes later the photographer was packing her equipment.

“Thanks for everything bud.” Rod clapped his shoulder.

“It’s been a real pain in the ass, but someone had to do it.” Derrick pulled a sober face.

Not that it mattered how he looked or what he said. He figured it would’ve taken a nuclear blast to wipe the happy grin off Rod’s face. Envy nipped at Derrick. But Rod was too good a friend for him to hold resentment for more than a few seconds. He remembered long nights of hanging out when Rod’s happiness was nothing more than wishful thinking. His best friend deserved every moment of joy.

“Can you give Bella a ride to the club? She’s bringing Merci’s suitcase.”

“Sure.” Derrick agreed, determined to acquit every one of his duties as best man, even those requiring him to escort the too tempting Bella.

Rod walked away to claim his bride from a crowd of well-wishers. Derrick waited, while Bella stepped back from a bevy of excited women moving forward – jostling for advantage as Merci tossed her bouquet.

Bella must’ve felt him watching her. When their eyes met and locked. Derrick fought to remember his priorities.

Dark lashes lowered veiling her thoughts. “Thanks for waiting for me.”

“My pleasure, where’s this luggage?”

“Upstairs, but please don’t worry about it. I can handle it fine.”

“Don’t be –” Silly, Derrick finished silently. His mother raised him right. There was no way he’d let any woman struggle with heavy suitcases. Bella’s assumption that he would rankled. Following her satin covered bottom, drained his resentment, but led to worse problems.

Dresses like that should be illegal.

“It’d make me feel good to help.” Derrick mentioned with admirable tact.

“Okay, hold this.” Bella thrust her bouquet at him.

A lecture on letting others help was ready to leap off his tongue, when a square of folded paper fell from her open hand. Derrick snagged the creased note. He offered her the scrap back.

Bella shrank away from him. Her eyes wild in a paling face.

Derrick moved toward her without thinking, wanting to protect. The sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs stopped him cold.

“Hello there. I thought everyone had left.” Reverend Tom held out a hand, breathing heavy.
Derrick slipped the note into his pants pocket before clasping the Reverend strong hand. He held his own through a harder than expected test of manliness as they shook.

The Reverend trailed a musty air, like a stack of old hymnals. He still had on the same clerical robe and white collar he’d worn for the wedding ceremony. The outfit was faintly scholarly, as if he were an honoree at a graduation ceremony. Rather than a mortarboard, the reverend sported a full head of springy red hair. Built like a linebacker and, at first glance young enough to play the game. A closer inspection showed white sprinkled among the red hairs and squint lines too deep for youth.

“Derrick Jameson, right? Never forget a name or a face. Lovely service wasn’t it? Just lovely. Such a nice couple. I don’t know the groom like I do our own sweet Mercedes, but he seems a sound young man. Right Isabella?”

“You don’t have to worry Reverend. He’s the perfect man for Merci.”

“He’s a great guy.” Derrick added his assurance to Bella’s.

“Good to hear. Though I thought as much.” Reverend Tom bobbed his head sagely.

“Excuse me, Reverend we’re picking up the bride’s luggage.” Derrick edged by Bella scanning the dressing room.

“I’ll let you get on with it then. Mustn’t let anything interfere with the honeymoon.” Reverend Tom gave a dry laugh as he lumbered away.

“These?” Derrick angled his head toward the three cherry decorated bags neatly parked in front of an old-fashioned freestanding mirror.

"Yes.” Bella darted in front of him grappling with the largest.

“Here,” he handed her back her flowers. “Let’s trade.”

“Okay.” Bella muttered taking back her bouquet and picking up the smallest of the three cases.
Derrick followed Bella outside. After placing the suitcases in the back of his truck, he ran around and opened the passenger door.

Bella glanced at the truck and back to him. Doubt etched her pretty face.

Derrick felt heat snaking up the back of his neck. The truck wasn’t his idea of a great ride either. It was what he had. It was clean and ran good. He’d seen to that himself.

“Problem?” He raised one eyebrow, daring her to complain.

“I can’t get in.” Bella’s expression implored him to come up with a face saving solution.

Her eyes got him.

Pretty women made him think about things he had no business thinking about. Pretty women dressed in barely legal dresses were even harder to resist. Pretty women with whisky colored eyes and sulky mouths wrote the music. All he could do was dance.

By the time he got her safely seated in the Pickup his smooth demeanor had a major bump. She seemed unruffled. He resisted the urge to smooth her dress. His hands itched to touch her, but he held out.

He wasn’t cut out for noble resistance.

The best thing was to bite the bullet and marry Nora. That’d cure his troubles, give him a new set of problems, and cut down on temptation.

Derrick figured life with Nora would include a lot of parties where all the women looked like her. Well groomed, toned, slender and sleek the way rich women were. The effect was supposed to be subtle, but screamed money.

He took his time, walking around the back of the truck and double-checking the luggage was still there. He got out bungee cords and secured the cases. Fishing for his keys, his fingers brushed the folded note.

Simple curiosity made him open it. Man is the head of the woman. Only man is the image and glory of God.

Weird. She didn’t look like the kind of woman who clutched bible verses. But what did he know? She was a Sunday school teacher.

Derrick climbed into the truck. “Here’s your note.”

The hand Bella extended trembled.

“It’s yours, right?”

“I don’t know.” Bella cupped her elbow as if arm needed extra support for the task.

“Come again?”

“I guess it’s mine. I mean – I think it was meant for me. The note was stuck in my bouquet.” She paused, doing a small shudder shimmy thing that damn near made him forget the question. “The other one, the first note, was on my windshield at work. That has to mean they’re for me. Doesn’t it? Silly question.” Bella laughed unconvincingly. “Of course, the notes are meant for me.”

Her whisky colored eyes clouded with doubts and fears making him want to puff up and play champion to her maiden in distress.

Nora played these kinds of games and he hated them. Somehow, he didn’t think Bella was pretending and that made all the difference.

“What did the other one say?”

“Who can find a virtuous woman?” Bella gave a half-sob laugh. “I am being silly. I keep telling myself there’s no harm in words –” She shook her head staring at the paper in her open hand. “How could someone put a note in my bouquet? Why would they want to?”

“A disappointed boyfriend?”

A peal of rich, full, genuine laughter bubbled. “No, I don’t think so.”

“A co-worker, then?”

“Definitely not.”

“A religious nut.”

“You’re probably right.” She agreed with a cheerful smile. The clouds didn’t leave her pretty eyes. “Shouldn’t we get going?”

“Yeah.” He pushed the key in the ignition. Glancing at her as he automatically checked behind them.

She opened her purse, dropping in the note and pulling a hankie. She used it to dab at her eyes. The hankie went back. Out came a fancy little mirror. Bella studied her face with a small furrow between her brows.

“Darn, the lash line is smudged.”

He had no idea what that meant, but it didn’t sound good.

Licking her ring finger, she patted delicately under her eyes until she was satisfied with the effect. The mirror disappeared back inside the small sparkly purse. Everything she did was fresh, feminine, fascinating.

A blur of motion snagged his attention. A large man, dressed in camouflage, disappeared into the woods behind the church. The hairs on Derrick’s nape jumped to code yellow, changing the level of threat.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Book buzz

Go forth and surf my readers - find your own book buzz. I need to read, learn, edit and write or there will be no sample Saturday - horrors.

Have fun.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Story Essentials Continued

Recapping as we work our way down the category romance editor's wish list, so far we have:

An opening hook
An appealing, human heroine
A hero to fall in love with. He must be human, appealing and honorable
An original story line.
Dialogue that sings
Emotional roller coaster (highs and lows)

When I thought about examples to illustrate the emotional roller coaster, I got stuck. Emotional scenes don't work well out of context. The reader's heart strings are plucked because she care about your characters. Without that initial investment suffering in meaningless.

Watching the carnage of war or the aftermath of disaster leaves us numb and disbelieving. Too much information, too much emotion it's harder to process. Which is why the journalist will bring the story down to own soldier, one displaced family, one set of grieving parents. A loss we can comprehend.

Breathing humanity into our fictional characters has to precede their trials and triumphs. The reader's expectations both mandate and challenge the execution of the black moment before the final resolution.

How does the writer make the reader who has an iron clad guaranteed happily-ever-after ending doubt the lovers will resolve their issues? By making us believe they are honorable and intelligent people who have a serious (not easily resolved) conflict. Pulling out the believable, yepreviouslylunsuspectedtd answer to the last knot is the writer's last challenge. All that remains after that is tidying up the confetti and champagne corks.


Writing Craft

Story Essentials – Continued

Recapping as we work our way down the category romance editor’s wish list, so far we have:

An opening hook
An appealing, human heroine
A hero to fall in love with. He must be human, appealing and honorable
An original story line.
Dialogue that sings
Emotional roller coaster (highs and lows)

When I thought about examples to illustrate the emotional roller coaster, I got stuck. Emotional scenes don't work well out of context. The reader's heart strings are plucked because she care about your characters. Without that initial investment suffering in meaningless.

Watching the carnage of war or the aftermath of disaster leaves us numb and disbelieving. Too much information, too much emotion it's harder to process. Which is why the journalist will bring the story down to own soldier, one displaced family, one set of grieving parents. A loss we can comprehend.

Breathing humanity into our fictional characters has to precede their trials and triumphs. The reader's expectations both mandate and challenge the execution of the black moment before the final resolution.

How does the writer make the reader who has an iron clad guaranteed happily-ever-after ending doubt the lovers will resolve their issues? By making us believe they are honorable and intelligent people who have a serious (not easily resolved) conflict. Pulling out the believable, yepreviouslylunsuspectedtd answer to the last knot is the writer's last challenge. All that remains after that is tidying up the confetti and champagne corks.


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Reading report

Multiple reads this week

The First Five Pages – A Writer’s Guide to Staying Out of The Rejection Pile by Noah Lukeman


Three Star review – A good craft book for those needing a review of the basics. Most entertaining – albeit depressing - features are the quotes introducing each chapter. Examples of what not to do abound and if the reader were to recognize a familiar pattern I can well picture the winces.



Setting – How to create and sustain a sharp sense of time and place in your fiction by Jack M. Bickham




Five Star review – A hasty perusal of the contents was enough to convince me I need a copy of my own.

Sister of My Heart by Citra Banerjeee Divakaruni

Five start review – The story of two girls’ as they grow into women both protagonists are equally compelling yet distinctly individual. The setting is exotic, the feelings universal, the story riveting. I’ve heard rumors there’s a sequel - book slut happiness.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Reading Banned Books

https://cs.ala.org/websurvey/pio/challengedbook/index.cfm?CFID=39946633&CFTOKEN=54638018

Gives you a chance to exercise your freedom to read. Go vote.

Writing Life

Digging deeper, in an effort to improve my writing has hit pockets of stubborn resistance.

I’ll give you examples.

I read about writers who created playlists to evoke certain moods. Ah ha, exactly what I need, I need more emotion, more romance. Music is wonderful for creating the perfect mood. I surf off in search of love songs. I keep getting distracted by rock and roll.

I made a commitment to complete a class, Empowering Character’s Emotions. It’s tough going. My eye slides off the page. The exercises are tedious, The examples dull. Defense mechanisms slam down. I don’t like emotional. I don’t do emotional. What ever possessed me to write romance?

Even in deep denial I can see a problem here.

Nobody warned me I’d have to undergo therapy to be a writer. If I dug deep enough into any subject it’d become about my psyche. The first step in solving a problem is recognition. . .

This writing business is not for sissies.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Sample Saturday

The opening of Seduction in Seattle Continues - I expect it to change substantially in the coming weeks as my writing education continues.

Man is the head of the woman. Only man is the image and glory of God.

Bella Williams folded and unfolded the already worn note, until she caught herself and forced her fingers still. She’d hastily palmed the cheap white paper note when she spied in the bridesmaid bouquet. But inside her head the biblical words echoed.

It was the second such note she’d found in a week. The first one, left on her windshield Monday while she was working at the shop.She chided herself for getting jumpy over a quote from Corinthians.

The notes qualified as strange – but threatening? Threatening was a stretch. She tried to dismiss them as nothing more than a bazaar form of proselytizing. She was getting paranoid and silly. Silly enough to be spooked by printed words. Sticks, stones, and all that jazz. She chided herself for being such a coward.

She sucked in her stomach tightening the muscles the way Nana had taught her for better posture. She refocused on the wedding ceremony.

Reverend Tom’s red hair clashed horribly with the burgundy robe he wore over his cassock. But his voice was strong, as if given extra power by the beauty of the words he intoned.

“The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God . . .”

Moments later, Rod turned to Merci lifting the sheer veil to reveal her shining eyes and trembling lips.

Every man and woman in the congregation sat at attention.

Rod took Merci’s hand. He began pledging his heartfelt vows. Looking directly into her eyes, he spoke only to her. “My honor, my heart, my body, my soul, is yours . . .”

Chills skittered along Bella’s arms. Merci’s face was so radiant all of Bella’s worries vanished. As the heartfelt vows continued, a bittersweet yearning grew. She didn’t want to ruin the professional makeup Merci insisted on. She blinked fast to keep tears from spilling. As the-maid-of-honor, it was her job to keep it together. She was not spoiling this moment for her best friend.

Her attention stayed riveted on the newlyweds as Rod lifted Merci’s veil. He leaned closer in slow motion, pressing Merci’s mouth with his. From where she stood the kiss felt respectful and loving and certain. Bella sighed.

Merci’s perfect white satin dress, the perfect pristine church and, of course, the perfect pleasing groom pledging his eternal love were all wonderful and exactly as Merci deserved. Bella blinked back more tears, poignant feelings, she didn’t want to examine, brimmed.

Trying to regain her composure, she scanned the church for a distraction. She homed in on Derrick Jamison. He was an easy target. Taller than everyone present, he naturally drew her eye. But he was more than tall. He embodied the lure of the forbidden with way more than his rightful share of masculine appeal.

His eyes locked with hers. His smoldered with sexual energy.

A traitorous corner of her heart wished she were the kind of woman, who would enchant him. She looked away from those dark eyes.

Bella was far too sensible to do anything as crazy as flirting with a known player. He’d have a mile long trail of discarded women.

She dared another glance. His eyes issued a challenge searing every nerve from her head clear down to her toes. She tensed. She knew his kind, predators. She didn’t blame him for the blatant invitation he couldn't help his natural instincts.

A lust devil must have possessed her, because she’d been flirting. She looked right for the part he was casting. She’d inherited her mother’s striking coloring and voluptuous figure. Normally she dressed carefully to counteract the false impression of sensuality. Tonight she wore the bride’s fashion choices. Tonight a wild recklessness possessed her. Tonight she courted danger.

The dress Merci chose for Bella was pure simplicity. A little nothing slip of peach silk that clung to every curve with a soft draping neckline that gave a man hope. If seduction were the goal, it would’ve been the perfect dress to wear. Underneath it all, the barely there bra and matching thong made her ample shape appear better than reality.

The clothes weren’t the problem. The imaginary lust devil, who’d possessed her body wasn’t the problem. The warm fizzles spreading through her body – those were the problem.

Bella pictured Derrick undoing her lingerie, his big hands sure and skillful, knowing just where to touch to give pleasure. Heat streaked up from her breasts singeing her cheeks. Perspiration dampened her neck. Bella stared at her flowers to avoid staring at Derrick. He wasn’t even handsome. Attractive, very attractive in a hard-edged way, he wore wicked masculine appeal like signature scent. He was compelling, if a woman went in for tall dark and dangerous.

She didn’t. Shouldn’t – not if she had half the sense God gave her.

Derrick had said nothing to her than “How do you do” and “Pleased to meet you” and even then, he had sounded completely bored. Here she was creating a whole seduction fantasy around a hot look. All right, a couple of hot looks. But they meant nothing. For all she knew he was near sighted.

He deserved to star in some woman’s fantasy, but not hers. She wasn’t a fantasy kind of girl, or so she’d always believed. The ease with which she imagined him naked rocked everything she’d believed about herself. She never pictured men naked.

A new worry, that she’d inherited more than from her mother than coloring, flared to life. She might share her mother’s fatal weakness for men. Fresh licks of fire turned up the heat on her breasts, neck, face.

Derrick watched Bella’s cheeks get redder and raised a brow in silent speculation. What was she thinking? Could she read his mind? Not likely. If she knew his thoughts, she’d be running as fast as those endless legs could carry her.

He was famous for his unreadable face. He was confident none of the erotic images playing in his mind reflected on his features. A moment of doubt prickled, maybe something had leaked. Derrick consciously relaxed his face irritated at the break in his natural defenses.

He’d never had this strong a reaction to a woman. He brought his analytical mind to bear on the Bella problem.

She was pretty, in a doll like way with gold curls escaping from a topknot. Her eyes were an unusual golden brown – whisky eyes. Nice skin, creamy, a great foil for her pretty blush. A killer body, too round to be in style. Lush breasts and curvy hips were exactly what he liked best. Scent was a powerful aphrodisiac and there was no denying she smelled good – a clean fragrance with a hint of something floral. All and all a very nice package.

None of her attributes explained the strength of his response. He’d dated some spectacularly beautiful women. Not one of them had the same impact as this woman with the sweet face and the dangerous curves.

Much as he hated to admit it, instinctively, he knew there was more in play than her appearance. She had an electric undercurrent. A whispered promise of molten pleasure only she embodied. He’d felt it when they’d shook hands and a disproportionate power surge hit nearly sending sent him to his knees.

He felt it now, a primal urge to paw the ground, pound his chest and roar his desire. At the same time everything thing he knew about staying in control was threatened by every breath she took. To become involved with her would be professional and personal suicide.

His reaction to Bella was nothing more than an inconvenient response to his self-imposed celibacy. Completely understandable – he hadn’t been with a woman in months.

Nora Richards and he had been heading for a break up before she left for Europe. Breaking up was a choice he was no longer sure he could afford. She was an imaginative and energetic lover. No amount of originality made up for her mean streak or her drama productions.

In theory, her trip gave them both time to reconsider before their engagement became official.
He wished.

Nora was spoiled. Arrogance ruined her sleek beauty. Derrick resented her. Resented her assumption he was hers to command. Resented her even more because she was right.

No matter how hard he tried to sell himself on marriage to Nora, it was still a business deal, plain and simple and ugly. He swallowed hard. Pride didn’t go down easy. With each fresh disaster he uncovered at Jameson Enterprises, the option of saying no to Nora shrank.

Financial security for his family was what Nora brought to her side of the bargaining table. It wasn’t an offer he could afford to ignore. His side of the bargain wasn’t as obvious. He knew part of his appeal lay in his wild card status. If he made things too easy, she’d grow bored and discard him. She wanted a challenge – the thrill of taming the wild male. Games weren’t his thing. With his family’s future hanging in the balance, playing was close to intolerable.

Getting out of the box he was in would take monstrous luck and iron balls. The balls he had.

If it were just him, he’d tear off the dog collar Nora demanded he wear in a flat second.

It wasn’t about him.

The reminder of what was at stake grounded him.

Rod waved him closer for the wedding party photos. Derrick smiled for the camera.

A woman’s laugh teased his ears and lightened his heart. His eyes sought the source of the happy sound and found Bella’s enticing lips curving into an alluring smile. His smile grew reckless to match hers. The rest of the wedding photographs clicked by painlessly.

Seconds later, the photographer was packing her equipment.

“Thanks for everything bud.” Rod clapped his shoulder.

“It’s been a real pain in the ass, but someone had to do it.” Derrick kept a sober face.

Not that it mattered how he looked or what he said. He figured it would’ve taken a nuclear blast to wipe the happy grin off Rod’s face. Envy nipped at Derrick. But Rod was too good a friend for him to hold resentment for more than a few seconds. He remembered long nights of hanging out when Rod’s happiness was nothing more than wishful thinking. His best friend deserved every moment of joy.

“Can you give Bella a ride to the club? She’s bringing Merci’s suitcase.”

“Sure.” Derrick agreed, determined to acquit every one of his duties as best man.

Rod walked away to claim his bride from a crowd of well-wishers. Derrick waited, while Bella stepped back from a bevy of excited women moved forward - jostling for advantage as Merci tossed her bouquet.

Bella must’ve felt him watching her. Their eyes met and locked. Derrick fought to remember his priorities.

Dark lashes veiled her thoughts. “Thanks for waiting for me.”

“My pleasure, where’s this luggage?”

“Upstairs, but please don’t worry about it. I can handle it fine.”

“Don’t be –” Silly, Derrick finished his thought silently. His mother had raised him right. There was no way he’d let her struggle with heavy suitcases. Her assumption that he would rankled. Following her satin covered bottom, drained his resentment, but led to worse problems.

Dresses like that should be illegal.

“It’d make me feel good to help.” Derrick mentioned with admirable tact.

“Okay, hold this.” Bella thrust her bouquet at him.

A lecture on letting others help was ready to unfurl off his tongue when a square of folded paper fell from her open hand as she released the flowers. Derrick snagged the creased note. He straightened, to hand the scrap back.

Bella shrank back. Her eyes wild in a paling face. Derrick moved toward her without thinking, instinctively wanting to protect. The sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs stopped him cold.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Market trends

What's hot? YA - agents have been blogging that editors are begging for YA titles.

It's a Golden Heart Category.

Young Adult is smokin'. What is it? Well it's not all Sweet Valley High. The titles I've read have been more Beverly Hill 90210. It's a romance which leaves room for lots of different set ups and tones - check the publisher's guidelines for a good fit with your YA story.

As always the focus is on the romance and the ending is emotionally satisfying.

As always dogs are good and Lincoln remains a perennial favorite. . .




Thursday, September 21, 2006

Book buzz

Fan Fiction has been around for awhile - but it's cookin.

Check out eharlequin's writing round robin to try your hand at a chapter here

http://www.eharlequin.com/cms/learntowrite/ltwToc.jhtml

Avon has a fan fiction contest going too - sign up here

http://avon.fanlit.com/index.htm?cid=00000027

Hooked? Want to know more? Try

http://www.fanfiction.net/



Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Teaching to learn - Dialogue that sings

Story Essentials – Continued

Recapping as we work our way down the romance editor’s wish list, so far we have:

An opening hook
An appealing, human heroine
A hero to fall in love with. He must be human, appealing and honorable
An original story line.
Dialogue that sings

Dialogue samples are all from the already read pile:

Sample number one

“I know Lyons, and he is not for heiress of Rowena’s stature. Even if his age were not an issue, the man has scandals of perversion attached to his name. Never would I condone such a match.”

“He is the only man willing to fight to regain her properties,” Gilbert had pointed out,

“Properties your father lost through his greed.”

“Nay it is every man’s right –”

“To encroach on his neighbor?” Anne cut in with a full measure of the contempt she felt for her stepson, which was not even a quarter of what she had felt for his brutish father. “To raid and make war without recourse? To steal and force women into marriage before their husbands are even buried! Such rights only came to men since Stephen was made King.”

The names, the lack of contractions, the word choices all tell the reader this is a historical novel. There are no dialogue tags to attribute emotion until the last paragraph, yet I hear bitterness and determination in the woman’s lines. Sulky defiance in the man’s. Without the dialogue attributes I’d know there were two different speakers. and that they’re opposed.

This exchange is laden with information for the reader. An arranged marriage looms between the heroine (Rowena) and a perverse old man. Gilbert’s motive for pushing the union revealed along with a silver of backstory and setting.

Sample number two

“Good heavens, come in, come in! No question you’re Rorke, Walt told me you looked like you’d tangled with a bulldozer. He didn’t mention the bulldozer won. Are you sure you’re up for this? And I don’t know how you could do this do me –”

“How I could –”

“You’re on time.” She delivered a stunning grin, full of sass and sparkle.

The only information this exchange offers the reader is a peek at the heroine’s character the impression this reader takes from the dialogue is warm, friendly, energetic and playful. In the space of a few words I’m predisposed to like her. The dialogue offers an implied character conflict since we know from the preceding pages the hero is literally wounded, wary and grumpy.

The small surprise - the twist – works well to hook the reader into reading on.

Sample number three

“You actually saw her?”

Lily nodded slowly. “She was crying. And she was afraid.”

“Can you see her now?”

Her quick deep breath sounded like a gasp. “No.” She lurched from the chair and stumbled against the coffee table.

McBride’s heart leaped to hyperspeed as he hurried to Lily’s side. “Are you okay?”

Lots of nice showing instead of telling in this example. His skepticism, her reluctance and the price Lily pays for the psychic vision are all implied. The technique draws the reader in, making them participate in the story.

Sample number four

“If something happens to me, you are not – I repeat – not to go ashore.”

“I know what to do. I’m not stupid, Simon.”

“I know you‘re capable, Janna, but you’re outnumbered and outgunned.”

“No problem. Nothing will happen. You’ll be fine.”

“You’re amazing.”

The implication of danger is blatant. The use of names awkward. Janna’s response, meant to display her plucky nature when taken out of context makes her sound silly, which taints Simon’s praise.

Sample number five

“You’re a dangerous woman,” Boone murmured.

“Me? I can’t even hit the target when we practice.”

“Don’t kid yourself.” He ran his hands over her curves. “You’ve got one hell of an arsenal.”

“I’d feel a lot better if I could shoot straight,” Christie said with a sigh.

“You’ll learn. I’ll teach you.”

“That’s not actually what I want to learn right now,” she whispered, snuggling closer.

A couple in peril with time enough to flirt. Mutual attraction, affection even a sense of commitment.

Sample number six

“Call 911.”

“Quit screaming,” he commanded in his best law enforcement officer’s voice.

“I need a cop!”

Damn. “Lady,” he gritted between his teeth, “I am a cop.”

A conflicted couple. Another nice job of showing emotion. His frustration is obvious, but implied.

All the examples have a common denominator. They are purposeful moving the story forward and showing character and emotion.


Does any of it sing? Not to my ear, but I’m not sure what singing dialogue would sound like.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Reading report

Multiple reads this week

Creating Unforgettable Characters by Linda Seger

Five stars – An excellent craft book. One I wish I’d read earlier. It is intended for those interested in writing scripts. I’m not. But good characterization is at the heart of all storytelling whatever the medium.




Tall, tanned and Texan by Kimberly Raye

Three stars – Ms.Raye has that Southern charm thing going in her voice, which appeals to the Yankee in me. The story itself fails to rise significantly over the average Blaze. For a fast, mildly sexy romp it’s a fine choice.




Eva Luna by Isabel Allende

Four stars – The story makes me wish I read Spanish. The prose intrigues, charms, wanders and surprises. There are stories within stories since the protagonist is a storyteller.



Deadly Affair by Sheila Baker

Three and half stars – but don’t worry it’ll be five stars by the time it’s available in print. The story is the sort of erotica I’m always looking for and not finding. Strongly drawn characters real enough to move in next door grappling with compelling problems and complicated sexuality.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Writing Life

Editing obsession continues. The obsessive writer at work – editing to strengthen. How many passes before the words are right? No idea. I do know that I've fallen into the endless edit loop before. Stuck in a rut that never becomes a road.

Warning: For anyone offended by graphic sex stop reading right now.



Making love with Bella was wrong. She deserved love, marriage and babies. He couldn’t be the man to give her those things. Desire pulsed through him tightening every muscle and settling with cruel weight in his groin.

“You’re waiting for Mr. Right and the ring and all that?”

She shook her head. “No.” Her voice huskier, almost croaky. “I’m never marrying.”

“Why the hell not?”

The words erupted from his mouth. He hadn’t planned any of this and he was a man who planned everything. His control eroded by her presence. He should leave. He was kidding himself. His escape route narrowed out of existence the moment he crossed her threshold.

“I’m a Williams.”

She said it as if she’d given him a complete explanation.

“So?” An impossibly soft shoulder shrugged. “We don’t marry.”

She changed the subject with her eyes. They moved between his face and his groin. Every glance a lick thickening his cock and thinning his control.

She toyed. Tracing the rim of his belly button with wary fascination.

Insane discipline gripped him. He captured her hand and held it against his chest.

The Levi’s fly stretched taut, every buttons riding at an extreme angle. He hoped to hell they held. His heart hammered as if he’d been running sprints.

“If Williams women don’t marry, how to you keep the line going?”

Bella barricaded her nudity behind a fluffy pillow.

“The usual way.” Bella tilted her chin up a notch.

“The usual way involves a man.” Derrick focused determinedly on her eyes.

“Briefly.”

Not flattering, but true enough.

“Come here.” He held out his arm. She scooted closer clinging to the pillow. Not trusting him with her body.

“You make me crazy.”

“Truly?” Her brows arched.

“Yeah.”

She licked her lips pouting. He punished her with a tongue-lashing.

Her touch feathered down his torso. Muscles bunched into knots under the softest of caressed. She lingered at his belly button. A new erogenous zone pulsed to life.

He unbuttoned his jeans with trembling fingers. Shucked them.

Lowered himself slowly, he covered her body with his. Carefully he kept his weight off her. Gently he nudged her thighs apart. Settled.

She sighed and he swallowed the sound capturing her breath. Her essence.

Though slick from her earlier climax, she was tight. He pushed the head of his cock into her slippery heated core. Her inner muscles, surprisingly strong and silky, clamped around him. He thrust into her. Stilled.

She froze beneath him.

He clenched his teeth preparing to withdraw.

Bella bucked her hips, angling for more contact or trying to unseat him?

God help him, every moment brought him closer to climax.

“Do you want me to stop?” He wasn’t sure he could.

“It doesn’t feel good.” Her voice was small.

He felt like an animal. He was an animal. The animal’s balls tightened.

She bucked.

Animal sounds roared from his throat. He lost control thrusting. Once. Twice. Heart pounding, muscles knotting, cock spurting.

He levered his torso off her enough to see her averted face. Tear tracks stained her cheek.

He pushed from her severing their intimate connection. Bella curled into a ball. He ignored his wants stroking her back.

She shuddered. “I thought I’d like it.”

Her disappointment was humbling.

Derrick knew a dozens ways to pleasure a woman. What had he done? Thrust into her like a rutting bull.

What happened to his control? Cracked with first kiss. Shattered with an irresistible urge to taste her. The shards scattered with his honor. Everything he believed blown away in few minutes of unimagined-impossible-to-deny desire.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Sample Saturday continued

Warning: For anyone offended by sex stop reading right now.

Making love with Bella was wrong. She deserved love, marriage and babies. He couldn’t be the man to give her those things. Desire pulsed through him tightening every muscle and settling with cruel weight in his groin.

“You’re waiting for Mr. Right and the ring and all that?”

She shook her head. “No.” Her voice huskier, almost croaky. “I’m never marrying.”

“Why the hell not?”

The words erupted from his mouth. He hadn’t planned any of this and he was a man who planned everything.

“I’m a Williams.”

She said it as if she’d given him a complete explanation.

“So?”

An impossibly soft shoulder shrugged. “We don’t marry.”

Her eyes moved between his face and his groin. Every glance a lick thickening his cock and thinning his control.

She toyed. Tracing the rim of his belly button with wary fascination.

A moment of insane discipline gripped him. He captured her hand and held it against his chest.
The button fly of his Levis was taut. He hoped to hell they held.

After his heart settled back to the three hundred meter dash mark, he re-opened the discussion. “If Williams women don’t marry, how to you keep the line going?”

Bella scooted up the bed barricading her nudity behind a fluffy pillow. Derrick contented himself with the obstructed view as he waited for an explanation that made sense.

“The usual way.” Bella informed him tilting her chin up a notch.

“The usual way involves a man.” Derrick focused determinedly on her eyes.

“Briefly.”

Not flattering, but true enough.

“Come here.” He held out his arm. Amazingly, she abandoned her pillow trusting him with her body.
“You’re driving me crazy.”

“Truly?” Doubt creased between her brows.

“Swear to God.”

“It’s not just the boobs?”

“They’re first rate. He admitted - pretending to think it over. “Nope, not it’s not just the boobs. It’s the bottom too and the legs.”

Her lips pouted and he punished them with his mouth giving her a tongue-lashing she’d learn to respect. And crave with any luck.

He unbuttoned his jeans. Shucked them. .

Lowered himself slowly, he covered her body with his. Carefully he kept most of his weight off her. Gently he nudged her thighs apart. Settled.

Though slick from her earlier climax, she was tight. He pushed the head of his cock into her slippery heated core. Her inner muscles, surprisingly strong and silky, clamped around him. He thrust into her. Stilled.

She froze beneath him.

“Don’t move.” He warned through clenched teeth.

Bella bucked her hips, angling for more contact or trying to unseat him?

God help him, every moment brought him closer to climax. .

“Do you want me to stop?” He wasn’t sure he could.

“It doesn’t feel good.” Her voice was small – apologetic.

He felt like an animal. He was an animal. The animal’s balls tightened.

She bucked.

Animal sounds roared from his throat. He lost control thrusting. Once. Twice. Heart pounding, muscles knotting, cock spurting.

He levered his torso off her enough to see her averted face. Tear tracks stained the cheek he could see.

He pushed from her severing their intimate connection. Bella curled into a ball. He ignored his wants stroking her back.

She shuddered. “I thought I’d like it.”

Her disappointment was humbling. Derrick knew a dozens ways to pleasure a woman. What had he done? Thrust into her like a rutting bull.

What happened to his code of conduct? Cracked with first kiss. Shattered with an irresistible urge to taste her. The shards scattered with his honor. Everything he believed blown away in few minutes of unimagined-impossible-to-deny desire.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Sample Saturday on time

The class I’m taking this month via Kiss of Death, Deep Editing, taught by Margie Lawson, MS is fantastic. The material is all about empowering your writing.

For those wanting to know more about Margie and her light bulb shining classes http://www.margielawson.com/Home.htm

Genre writing is a snowflake problem. Flakes can only be this color, this shape, this size and yet no two are alike and each is wonderful and delightful to the snowflake fan.

In romance writing certain scenes, the first meeting, the first kiss, the first sex are fraught with peril. Reader expectations run high. These scenes are the good parts your reader eagerly anticipates. Disappoint her and your book hits the wall. How can any writer make scenes written a million times before fresh?

Every romance is a love story. Each love story is as individual as its couple. Therein lies the secret of empowering those all important hallmark scenes.

Warning: For anyone offended by sex stop reading right now. Today we’re going to tackle the love scene. It’s not about body parts. It is about intimacy. It is about emotion. It is about vulnerability.

What makes your scene unique? Your characters and detail. Forget every love scene you’ve read. Your couple is alone. They’re attracted or they’re in love. They’re shy or adventurous. They’re experienced or innocent. They’re making love because that is what needs to happen to advance your story.

Unedited

He couldn’t do it. It was against his personal code. This was a woman who was made for marriage and babies and the gift of her virginity belonged to the man who was married her, a very lucky man. He wanted her so much; he could’ve howled with frustration.

“You’re waiting for Mr. Right and the ring and all that?”

She shook her head again. “No.” Her voice was huskier, almost croaky. “I’m never getting married.”

“The hell you’re not.” The words erupted from his mouth of their own volition. He hadn’t planned this and he was a man who planned everything. She was too lovely, he’d have to steel his heart against her or he’d wind up being a fool for her but he couldn’t let her go, he had to have her. She’d been made for him.

Quickly he freed himself from his jeans. Though she was still slick from her climax, she was still so tight he had to push the head of his shaft into her, he felt her inner muscles, surprisingly strong, tight and silky clamp around him. He couldn’t hold back for another second. He thrust into her; he felt her maidenhead tear as he buried himself inside her and held himself perfectly still.
She froze beneath him instantly tense with pain; tightly clenched around him. It hurt so much. She tried to get away but she was pinned underneath him.

“Don’t move.” He growled. He was furious at himself, what had happened to his control? He should have stopped the moment he felt that fragile barrier, but the animal he knew lived inside him was thrilled to be the first. She was trying to push him off, and he knew he should release her but he didn’t think he could and if she didn’t stop squirming he was going to climax inside her. “I said don’t move.”

“It hurts.” Pain and betrayal straining her voice.

Oh lord she had known kissing this man was a mistake. At least he wouldn’t call her a tease. She felt stretched beyond bearing, she tried to find an easier position but he was in her and on her and she had no choice but to lie there and wait for it to end.

He pulled back slightly but when he moved, her feminine passage caressed him. He rocked into her as she eased slightly. He rocked in a fraction more and she clamped down on him again. His body screamed for release and he pushed deeper, if she would just relax a little. How could he make her understand, when the last strand of his control had snapped? She shifted trying to ease the pain and he lost control and thrust into her, this time so deeply he nudged the mouth of her womb as he exploded.

For a few minutes, he was beyond awareness, as reality seeped in he forced himself up on his elbows. She laid perfectly still, her face turned away from the soft light, her eyes were closed but a glistening tear trailed down her cheek. She was hurt. He’d have a hell of time talking her into this again if he didn’t give her some kindness to offset the pain.

He pulled himself from her completely she curled into a ball and he knew he was in for an uphill battle if he wanted to be with her again. And he wanted to be with her again. Even though he’d just had her, he felt himself grow heavy with a desire that was as strong as if it had never been sated. He ignored his own wants and stroked her back.

She turned a tear-streaked face toward him. “I thought I’d like it.” Her disappointment was obvious and humbling. Derrick knew a dozens ways to pleasure a woman and what had he just done? Thrust into her like a horny teenager. Where was his finesse? It had disappeared about the same time he’d unbuttoned her top and awoken an irresistible urge to taste her followed by an impossible-to-deny-need to bury himself inside her.

Edited

Derrick knew making love with her was wrong. Bella deserved love, marriage and babies. Desire pulsed through him tightening every muscle and settling with cruel weight in his groin.

“You’re waiting for Mr. Right and the ring and all that?”

She shook her head. “No.” Her voice huskier, almost croaky. “I’m never marrying.”

“Why the hell not?”

The words erupted from his mouth. He hadn’t planned any of this and he was a man who planned everything.

“I’m a Williams.”

She said it like that was a complete explanation.

“Not good enough.”

An impossibly soft shoulder shrugged. Her eyes moved between his face and his groin. Every glance a lick thickening his cock and thinning his control.

She toyed. Touching him with wary fascination.

He unbuttoned his jeans. Shucked them.

Lowered slowly covering her body with his. Nudged her thighs apart. Settled.

Though slick from her climax, she was tight. He pushed the head of his cock into her. Her inner muscles, surprisingly strong and silky, clamped around him. He couldn’t wait. He thrust into her. Stilled.

She froze beneath him. Struggled. He pinned her.

“Don’t move.” He warned through clenched teeth.

Bella bucked her hips trying to unseat him. God help him, every moment brought him closer to climax. .

“I said don’t move.”

“It hurts.” Her voice was small - apologetic.

He felt like an animal. He was an animal. The animal’s balls tightened.

She wriggled.

Animal sounds roared from his throat.

He lost control thrusting. Once. Twice. Heart pounding, muscles knotting, cock spurting.

He levered his torso off her enough to see her averted face. Tear tracks stained the cheek he could see.

He pushed off her severing their intimate connection. Bella curled into a ball. He ignored his wants stroking her back.

She shuddered. “I thought I’d like it.”

Her disappointment was humbling. Derrick knew a dozens ways to pleasure a woman. What had he done? Thrust into her like a rutting bull.

Where was his code of conduct? Cracked with first kiss. Shattered with an irresistible urge to taste her. The shards scattered with his honor. Everything he believed blown away in few minutes of unimagined-impossible-to-deny desire.




What’s still missing? Lots. This is less than a scene – a snippet like the kiss sample. An illustration of editing a work in progress. .

Friday, September 15, 2006

Market trends

I believe that knowing how to coax a little bliss back into your work is far more valuable in the long run than craft tips, industry info or a even the secret handshake. I believe that the strong survive, but the joyous thrive.

A Quote from Roxanne St. Claire read the rest of the discussion on Diana Peterfreund's blog go here http://dianapeterfreund.blogspot.com/

Just in case, you’re still interested in industry information – what better source than publisher’s own blogs?

The Avon Editors Blog daily at http://www.avonromanceblog.blogspot.com/

Harlequin VP of Development, Isabel Swift blogs sporadically at http://community.eharlequin.com/webx?14@889.4rcnaYyLUrY.1@.4a837fef

Be sure to read Eye On The Donut - Sheila Baker the world's best CP contributed.


An anonynmous editor blogs here http://www.evileditor.blogspot.com/

There's more editors and agents too, oh my!



Thursday, September 14, 2006

Book buzz

This week’s buzz report may be mislabeled. The only book that caught my eye is already a bestseller. The Thirteenth Tale, by Diane Setterfield. I’ve been in a vaguely impatient literary kind of mood lately. I find myself irritated by repetition faster than usual, disgruntled by plot holes and disillusioned with type cast characters straight from central casting. Perhaps my new obsession with writing craft and the Deep Editing class I’m taking have temporarily ruined me for trashy books.




Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Teaching to learn - Original plots

Story Essentials – Continued

Recapping as we work our way down the romance editor’s wish list, so far we have:

An opening hook
An appealing, human heroine
A hero to fall in love with. He must be human, appealing and honorable

This weeks essential – an original story line.

An original plot has caused me more angst than the rest of the requirements put together. There are no original plots. Even a fresh twist on the well-trodden ground of boy-meets-girl is hard to come by.

Read the lines the stories filling the category display shelves are the opposite of fresh. You pick up a Blaze, a Presents, an Intrigue, a Superromance you know what you’re getting. They are romances. You know what flavor the story comes in. Blaze is spicy, Presents Rich, Intrigue thrilling, Superromance heartwarming. The writer’s voices vary, the romance plots have variations, that’s it.

That’s the way the editors and all the other readers like it.

As a reader I understand. There’s nothing worse than picking up a nice cozy mystery author, finding she’s gone edgy, and hip. Harlequin editors are smart enough to prevent any jarring of their readers sensibilities.

Hence, the cogent advice – read the line. Don’t get distracted by the different title, different names, read the core story that’s what the reader requires.

Core stories from our already pile:

Avon Single title medieval – Heroine’s evil relatives force her into dishonorable acts, which harm the hero. He avenges his damaged honor by subjecting her to the same cruelties she imposed on him. A secondary character reveals the heroine’s noble motives and he forgives her, acknowledges his love and punishes her malevolent stepbrother.

Silhouette Intimate Moments – Recovering alcoholic heroine needs a hero to facilitate making amends to the daughter, who’s in ex-husband’s custody. Stiff-necked hero learns not to judge others failings as he grants heroine’s wish to reconnect with her child. Overcoming their personal demons, they fall in love.

Harlequin Intrigue – Grieving father, burned by psychic who failed to help locate his missing daughter gets a case of missing child. Psychic teacher has visions of missing child. The grieving father cop and psychic teacher work together to find missing child, losing the fight to keep from falling in love during their quest.
Harlequin Intrigue – Guilty hero forced to work with widow, he’s attracted to in order to foil fiendish plot to commit acts of mayhem. Conflicted widow of traitor battled menacing abusive villain women while fight attraction to hero. The duo foiled the evil machinations of the fiend and fell in love.

Harlequin Blaze – Efficient stalker terrorizes woman, who reaches out to hero for help. Underground warrior, hero comes to her rescue. Complications arise as does the sexual tension until their lives, their libidos and their hearts are on the line. Since this is part of continuity the bad guys are only held at bay, not eradicated.

Avon Single Title Contemporary – Disgruntled undercover cop suspects quirky antique dealer of involvement in art heist. When antique dealer assaults the cop she agrees to pretend to be his girlfriend to aid his investigation as part of her plea bargain to avoid prosecution. Enforced propinquity works its magic and love happens.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Reading report - Faking It

Reading, for me, is right up there with breathing, eating, sleeping – absolutely essential life sustaining stuff. I not only read, I sample, browse, re-read, study and dissect . And I’m a moody reader.

Last week I’d earned a comfort read. For those of you not familiar with my brand of comfort - a definition.

A comfort read is not steamy sex. A comfort read is not heart thumping suspense. A comfort read is not profound. It is soothing, amusing, distracting and has enough meat to be sustaining.

Perusing the TBR shelves, I selected a vintage Jennifer Crusie, Faking It. Now there’s a problem with reading Jennifer Crusie, as it happens she wrote one of my favorite books, Anyone But You. I know it’s unfair of me, but every time I scan the first page of Crusie I’m hoping for the quirky, true and perfect love story.

Faking It started out fine. Crusie’s voice charmed, soothed and yes, comforted. There’s even a dog, Steve. He’s nervous and needy (obviously no Fred) but I can work with that. Jennifer Crusie has a wonderful talent. Her characterizations are fresh, vivid, engaging. Her craft is honed and sparkly. Her plots – no forget it. I’m pretty sure there are voodoo ceremonies involved in uneven attempts to unearth her stories structure.

Expectations are tricky. Reading an enchanting book puts an author on the must read list. Reading a disappointing book by a revered author shakes the faith.


For those compelled to form their own opinions -



Monday, September 11, 2006

Writing Life

The most important thing to do if you want to be a writer is to write. Sounds obvious, but it’s not easy cramming a career into a full life. Most writers have a day job. If you think stay at home mothers don’t work then you’ve never been there, done that.

I planned to write fiction as my second career. I’d study craft and write, study craft and read; well you can see the pattern. Eventually, as the first of my efforts were published, to great acclaim, I’d be ready to quit my day job.

You know about life, right? It’s what happens while you’re busy making plans. I have a new day and night job. Did I quit writing? Nope. But it’s slowed me down.

Other factors slow down productivity too. I’m much more critical of all writing, especially mine. I kind of miss the days when I banged happily away at the keyboard every morning before leaving for work. So what if every fifth word was and? I was having fun.

There are writers who, from their accounts of their daily schedule, whistle while they work. Marketable prose flying from their fingertips. I don’t read them.

The writers I read work damn hard crafting easy reading.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Sample Saturday delayed

Back in August I signed up for a fall class Deep Editing over at the Kiss of Death on line chapter. I had a vague recollection the class started in September. Last Thursday I emailed the coordinator and asked real nice about the promised link thinking the class might be starting sometime soon. The efficient registration coordinator emailed me a link to the virtual classroom. The class began September first. Behind already. Jumped in and got to work on my monster editing assignment.

Today's sample is from the same story. A new and, I hope, improved version. BTW whenever I edit I wind up adding a lot of words, not necessarily a bad thing, but it may become a problem.

Man is the head of the woman. Only man is the image and glory of God.

Bella folded and unfolded the already worn note, until she caught herself and forced her fingers still. She’d hastily palmed the cheap white paper note she’d spied in her bridesmaid bouquet. The biblical words echoed in her head. It was the second such note she’d found in a week. The first one, left on her windshield Monday while she was working at the shop. She chided herself for getting jumpy over a quote from Corinthians.

The notes qualified as strange – but threatening? She tried to dismiss them as nothing more than a bazaar form of proselytizing. She was turning into a nervous old maid – silly enough to be spooked by printed words. Sticks, stones, and all that jazz. She managed an inward laugh at herself for being such a coward.

She sucked in her stomach tightening the muscles the way Nana had taught her for better posture. She refocused on the wedding ceremony.

Reverend Tom’s red hair clashed horribly with the burgundy robe he wore over his cassock, but his voice was strong, as if given extra power by the beauty of the words he intoned.
“The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God . . .”

Moments later, Rod turned to Merci lifting the sheer veil to reveal her shining eyes and trembling lips.

Every man and woman in the congregation sat at attention. Rod took Merci’s hand and began pledging his heartfelt vows. He.spoke only to her.

“My honor, my heart, my body, my soul is yours . . .”

Chills skittered along Bella’s arms. Merci’s face was so radiant all of Bella’s worries vanished. She didn’t want to ruin the professional makeup Merci insisted on. She blinked fast to keep tears from spilling. As the-maid-of-honor, it was her job to keep it together. She was not spoiling this moment for her best friend.

Her gaze stayed riveted on the newlyweds as Rod lifted Merci’s veil. He leaned closer in slow motion, pressing Merci’s mouth with his. From where she stood the kiss felt respectful and loving and certain.

Bella sighed. Their wedding was made all the more beautiful because of the emotional roller coaster ride Merci and Rod survived on their journey to true love.

Merci’s perfect white satin dress, the pristine church and, of course, the pleasing groom pledging his eternal love were all wonderful and exactly as Merci deserved. Bella blinked back more tears, brimming with poignant feelings she didn’t want to examine.

Trying to regain her composure, she scanned the church for a distraction. Her gaze homed in on Derrick Jamison. He was an easy target. Taller than everyone present, he naturally drew her eye. But he was more than tall. He embodied the lure of the forbidden with way more than his rightful share of masculine appeal.

His gaze locked with hers. His smoldered with sexual energy. A traitorous corner of her heart wished she were the kind of woman, who would enchant him. She wasn’t. She looked away from those dark eyes.

She was a realist. She was far too sensible to do anything as crazy as flirting with a known player. A man like him would have a mile long trail of discarded women.

Bella stared at her flowers to avoid looking at Derrick. He wasn’t strictly handsome. Attractive, in kind of hard-edged way, he oozed wicked masculine appeal. He was compelling, if a woman went in for tall dark and dangerous. She didn’t, shouldn’t anyway – not if she the sense to come in out of the rain.

She dared another glance. His gaze met hers. His eyes seemed to issue a challenge. His gaze seared every nerve from her head clear down to her toes. She tensed. She knew his kind, predators. She didn’t blame him for the blatant invitation. She looked right for the part he was casting. She’d inherited her mother’s striking coloring and voluptuous figure. Normally she dressed carefully to counteract the false impression of sensuality. Tonight, she was on display in the bride’s fashion choice.

The dress Merci chose for Bella was pure simplicity. A little nothing slip of peach silk that clung to every curve with a soft draping neckline that gave a man hope. If seduction were the goal, it would’ve been the perfect dress to wear. Underneath it all, the barely there bra and matching thong made her ample shape appear better than reality.

All too easily, Bella pictured Derrick undoing her lingerie, his big hands sure and skillful, knowing just where to touch to give pleasure. Heat streaked up from her breasts singeing her cheeks. Perspiration dampened her neck.

The man had said nothing more to her than “How do you do” and “Pleased to meet you” and even then, he had sounded completely bored. Here she was creating a whole seduction fantasy around a hot look. All right, a couple of hot looks. But they meant nothing. For all she knew he was near sighted.

He deserved to star in some woman’s fantasy, maybe even hers. The ease with which she imagined him naked rocked everything she’d believed about herself. A new worry, that she’d inherited more than from her mother than coloring, flared to life. She might share her mother’s fatal weakness for men. Fresh licks of fire turned up the heat on her breasts, neck, face.

Derrick watched Bella’s blush deepen and raised a brow in silent speculation. What was she thinking? Could she read his mind? Not likely. If she knew his thoughts she’d be running as fast as those long legs could carry her.

He was famous for his unreadable face. He was confident none of the erotic images playing in his mind reflected on his features. A moment of doubt prickled, maybe something had leaked. He’d never had this strong a reaction to a woman. He brought his cool analytical intellect to bear on the Bella problem.

She was pretty, in a doll like way with gold curls escaping from a topknot. Her eyes were an unusual golden brown, whisky eyes. Nice skin, creamy, a great foil for her pretty blush. A killer body, too round to be in style. Lush breasts and curvy hips were exactly they way he liked. Scent was a powerful aphrodisiac and there was no denying she smelled good – a clean fragrance with a hint of something floral. All and all a very nice package.

None of her attributes explained the strength of his response. He’d dated some spectacularly beautiful women. Not one of them had the same impact as this round little peach. Instinctively, he knew there was more in play than her appearance. She had an electric undercurrent. A whispered promise of molten pleasure only she embodied. He’d felt it when they’d shook hands and a disproportionate power surge hit nearly sending sent him to his knees.

He felt it now, a primal urge to paw the ground, beat his chest and roar his desire. At the same time everything thing he knew about staying in control was threatened by every breath she took. To become involved with her would be professional and personal suicide.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Book buzz

As an aspiring writer I’ve got my ear pressed firmly to the ground for what’s hot, what it is that publishers, and presumably readers, want. When Harlequin puffs a book I listen.

Their latest push goes to Angel’s Rest.

Here’s the link. Go ahead and check it out. I’ll wait.






What do you think? Is it romance? Nope. Are they not happy being the largest romance publisher? Didn’t they just discontinue Silhouette Bombshells? Am I missing the big picture? Are the non-romance lines going great guns somewhere else? Or are editors and marketing departments fallible human beings like the rest of us?


Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Market trends

Trends in the market what’s hot, what’s dead, is a continuous low level buzzing that ebbs and swells occasionally bumping into my self-absorbed imaginary world. This week I read a few discussions on erotic elements, the demand for more sex scenes, hotter sex scenes and laments about poor writing in the erotica market offerings.

An uneasy feeling infiltrates my haze. Writers, maybe more than most, live in sheltered communities. Romance writers in particular read each other, whether in print, audio or blog form. We all nod and agree with the current pronouncements. After all they reflect our views. Surely, poor writing will be punished. Everyone agrees. Scan through all the comments, almost all the other romance writers agree. Isn’t that everybody?

Um, no. What about the readers who are still flocking to buy the latest politically incorrect undead jerky hero? Maybe they aren’t keeping up with truth as preached from every romance writer’s blog. Maybe they’re busy downloading smut because they like smut. Maybe they don’t give a damn about good writing.

Critics, English professors and the intelligentsia have deplored the state of popular literature for a long time. Doesn’t have any noticeable effect on what sells. For those interested in selling it pays to be realistic about the market.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Writing Craft

Story Essentials – Continued

Recapping as we work our way down the editor’s wish list, so far we have an opening hook and an appealing, human heroine. Next, we need a hero to fall in love with. He must be human, appealing and honorable.

Crafting an acceptable hero is a task I find challenging. I have a definite weakness for those bad boy alpha males. You know the kind. A man who so easily crosses into asshole territory. Once he drops out of the hero class, it’s darn hard to sell him as a hero, no matter how much reforming him appeals to me.

Funny about those alpha males, call him undead and he can chew up the scenery gnashing his fangs. Send him back to an earlier time and his primal instincts are suddenly acceptable and, interestingly, not incompatible with honor.

Grumbling, changes nothing I need to find the right balance between plausible real life guy and heroic. With that goal in mind, let’s look at our six already read hero introductions.

All Rowena noticed was that the man was there, tied down on the bed, with no more than a large bath sheet draped over his bare loins. Tied down? Nay, she noticed now the iron cuffs at his wrists, which lay above his head. And two chains came out from under the bath sheet at the end of the bed to curve down under it. Chained Down! He had to be chained down? And he was asleep, or senseless.

The author doesn’t bother physical description of the man. Rightly, she concentrates on the horror and the injustice of the situation.

She couldn’t get him off her mind.

Heaven knew she’d tried, but every time she closed her eyes, she could see Rorke’s face when he’d first walked through her door. Meeting him, she’s expected to feel uncomfortable, but he was the awkward one, standing there looking so tense, so rigid, so battered. Her heart had gone out to him.

Again, no words are wasted on his sculpted chin or mighty shoulders. Instead the author goes right for the emotional jugular showing us a still proud, but beaten man.

Lily’s arm tingled where he touched her. Raw, barely leashed power rolled off him in waves, almost as tangible as the scent of his aftershave. It swamped her, stole her breath.

A few words, and instantly the reader labels the barely met man hero.

Beside her, Simon chuckled, a sensual sound that rippled through her senses. She’d missed it.

“Of course they have the same drill. But I bet you researched the security process, didn’t you, Marian?”

She couldn’t help smiling at him calling her Marian, like the librarian in The Music Man. Simon teased without cruelty or humiliation. Simon’s kidding never hurt.

Nice first line, the audio input felt fresh. The author lost me at Marian (not the heroine’s name) the librarian in The Music Man isn’t a character I know. Already I’m feeling left out of private joke. Then she finishes her brief introduction of her hero with a redundant line.

The poor author has just tripped over one of my pet peeves, repetition. The reader either is comprehending your words or she’s not – repeating them isn’t going to help.

He stood in the doorway, but all she could see was his silhouette. He was so large. His shoulders nearly filled the space, his head just a few inches from the top. There was something in his hand. A mug. Her coffee mug. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He spoke softly. Barely above a whisper.

The heroine may still be terrified, but I believe him. Enter the hero, bigger than life and twice as strong.

The first time she’d seen him had been a week ago, he’d been standing beneath a tree in Ann Morrison park. She’d jogged past him and might not have noticed him at all if it hadn’t been for the cloud of cigarette smoke surrounding his head. She probably would have never given him another thought if she hadn’t seen him the next day at Albertson’s buying a frozen pot pie. That time she noticed the way his muscular thighs filled out his hacked-off sweatpants, and the way his hair curled up like small cs around the edge of his baseball cap. His eyes were dark, and the intense way he’s watched her had sent an alarming shiver of pleasure up her spine.

Aside from the slightly dated cigarette smoke, the introduction draws a compelling picture of a hero. The imagery is scapel sharp bringing the hero into focus.

Reading report - Shadow Soldier

Dana Marton wrote a Harlequin Intrigue that hit all the right notes. The opening tested this reader’s credibility by having a single agent on bodyguard duty 24/7, but it worked for the story. I read patiently on.

The story progressed nicely with a sketched threat of appropriate menace. The sexual tension crackled between the protagonists. Threats to the heroine’s life uped the stakes. The couple was on the run. The standard elements were handled well, acting as familiar landmarks.

The suspense was light. The sex was light too. The story moved rapidly and the characters were believable. The balance between suspense and romance was just right. Obviously, other readers thought so too. This was book one in the Shadow series.

Ms. Marton’s early books are no longer available new. Used copies are available on Amazon.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Writing Life

Stephen said, “Can I be blunt on this subject? If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that. Reading is the creative center of a writer’s life.” in his book On Writing.

That was the best news I had last year. Up until reading that I’d been foregoing reading in favor of writing. For A life long addicted reader it was the highest price. The ego blows of rejection barely count compared with the sacrifice of good books.

I hadn’t given up all reading I’m not that crazy. I had confined my reading to craft books and the line I was targeting. It wasn’t a total waste of time. I learned a lot about the craft of writing. I met and fell in love with a couple of new authors. Always a happy event for a reader.

After reading Stephen King’s frank pronouncement and a short period of shocked rumination to allow the truth to settle into my head, Happy Days Are Here Again burst into surround sound in my mind.

A career choice that requires reading widely, frequently and deeply. No wonder everyone wants to be a writer.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Editing adventures

The sample I posted last week from my first manuscript leaves me more conflicted than the most twisted of my plots. I still love the concept, adore the characters and believe passionately that there’s a good story inside all that messy prose.

Can it be unearthed? I’m sure of – but the job is overwhelming. I understand one of my writing friend’s feelings about her first story so much better now. She writes much better than I do, her natural voice is a lyrical tone poem that makes editors beg her to consider revisions. Sigh, I’d hate her but how can you hate someone so talented and nice? Where was I? Editing. After dinking around and getting nowhere, I decided to start back at what should have been the beginning. Goal, motivation and conflict worksheet, bios, synopsis and short outline. I’m hoping with a good story map the core story can be excavating, rinsed off and shined up to a glossy good read.

Writing isn’t for the fainthearted.
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