New patterns for living

Finally figured out what to get for Christmas--a life of my own. All these years I thought I was maintaining an individual identity. Yeah sure, I was a wife, a mother, a friend, a sister, a daughter, and an employee but I was still me too. Then my husband’s health took an ultimately fatal turn, changing everything.

Some of those changes were abrupt. In the span of a few weeks I quit working outside the home. Over months and years as his health declined, the time I spend focused on his needs expanded until that was all that existed--except for the barest minimum spent on keeping myself and the animals alive. All that lovely advice, well-meant, and no doubt sensible, about taking care of the caretaker was ignored.

I credit writing with maintaining my sanity. However, writing alone didn’t fill up the well--in order to write I needed a real life that worked.

Figuring out what needed done to the house was a snap compared to finding even a clue about how to nurture myself. Warning: commercial endorsement ahead. A friend’s post about something unrelated mentioned a website she’d found helpful. www.flylady.com FLY stands for Finally Loving Yourself. What a concept!

Their advice is primarily aimed at stay-at-home mothers, but it can be adapted to anyone’s circumstances. The important parts of the program are universal.

I’m through with editing and polishing and revisions and am indulging myself in an unplanned story for the next few weeks as I learn to enjoy the adventure of living solo, un ongoing process that will take me the rest of my life.

I hope this holiday season brings joy and magic to your heart.