Sunday funnies

One Sunday morning, people were in their pews talking while waiting for the service to start. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate.

Soon everyone had exited the church. Except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy stood within striking distance.

Satan walked up to the old man and said, “Don't you know who I am?”

The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”

“Aren't you afraid of me?” Satan asked.

“Nope, sure ain't,” said the old man.

“Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?” the devil asked.

“Don't doubt it for a minute,” returned the man in an even tone.

“Did you know that I could cause you profound and horrifying agony for all eternity?”

“Yep,” the old man replied calmly.

“And you're still not afraid?” Satan asked.

“Nope,” said the man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, “Well, why aren't you afraid of me?”

The man replied calmly, “Been married to your sister for 45 years.”